Home Sweet Home

Fingers Crossed Behind Back

They should have taken bets.  The staff realized this too late, of course, so all they could do is sit and watch the creative excuses unfold.

Sarah had made telecommuting an art form.  While most of the staff had one day of telecommuting a week, and a few had two, Sarah would try to see how many days she could get away with not having to come into the office.  No subject was off limits for her to employ her excuses for staying at home.

  • There was snow on the ground
  • There was snow on the way
  • It looked like it was going to storm fiercely
  • She needed privacy
  • She wasn’t feeling well, but well enough to work from home
  • She had a half day off in the afternoon, so why bother coming in the morning?
  • She had a day off in the morning, and it didn’t make sense to come in for the afternoon
  • Her husband, son, neighbor, dog, neighbor’s dog, complete stranger wasn’t feeling well and she didn’t feel right about leaving them
  • Alien invasion

If it were simply that she wanted to stay home, the staff would have been somewhat accepting of this.  After all, it meant she wasn’t in the office to tell everyone their jobs and give extra work.  This was a bonus.

Sarah’s telecommuting had a dark side to it, though.  First, any day she telecommuted, she would inform everyone that they had to rearrange their schedules in order to accommodate her telecommuting.  If they had to change everything for her, then so be it.  She could not be inconvenienced by something as complicated as a web conference or conference call.  Second, if she wasn’t there to sign off on something urgent, progress stopped.  She needed to be in to sign off on items, and her telecommuting interfered with that.  Third, there were simply things that staff needed to talk with her about in person.  A phone call would not do.  She had to make decisions, and she needed to be there for this.  None of this mattered to Sarah, of course, as it was her telecommuting, and she wanted it to be that way.

When Sarah was tapped to head the department, her habits changed slightly.  Based on what she was doing, the staff guessed that she was told by her new boss that she could take one telecommuting day a week, and one only.  Sarah dutifully promised this would be the case.

The staff was still kicking themselves for not taking bets about how long this would last before she found some way around it.

For the first few weeks, Sarah was a good girl.  She took one day a week as her telecommuting day, and that was it.  She was out of the office other times, but they were for official travel.

Then, when no one was looking, the excuses crept back in again.  One day stretched into a day and a half.  A day and a half stretched into two.  The stretching continued for as long as Sarah was able to get away with it.

Staff knew that if any of them ever tried what Sarah did, they would be hauled in front of her so fast it would make their head spin.  Employee Relations would tell them the telecommuting rules chapter and verse from the employee handbook, and they would be informed that telecommuting was a privilege and not a right.  If they wished to continue to telecommute, they would be able to do so only once a week, maybe twice, but that was it.  After all, work would have to get done.

There was one silver lining in that, though.  Sarah would want to make sure she told them all this personally.  That would mean she would have to be in the office to do so.  That might give the employee months and months before the conversation took place.

It’s Only Someone Else’s Money


It was company policy to refresh each employee’s computer every three years.  Sarah was no different, so when the call to renew her laptop came to the coordinator for the department, the coordinator approved a new laptop for her.  Soon enough, the IT department informed Sarah that they would be stopping by to install her new laptop.  That is when this whole thing began.

Sarah had decided she didn’t want the typical renewed laptop.  Oh no, that would not do for her.  Now, she had not told anyone this, but this is what she wanted.   What did she want?  Well, she wanted something different.  She wanted a laptop made by a company that has a fruit theme.  This didn’t bother the IT department, as they had two different types of fruit-themed laptops available for users.

But wait, Sarah said, she didn’t want either of them.  She wanted something special.  She wanted something that they didn’t regularly stock.  After consultation with IT, they came up with the fruit-themed laptop that she would accept.  This set the wheels turning for the coordinator for the department to spend a few hours having to fill out the proper forms for a special request, give the justification, and do the research for the price and possible vendor.  It then had to go through the Byzantine approval system.  Happily, he must have burned the right incense and incanted the right ritual, as the request went through.  Sarah was happy.

As part of the request, the coordinator was advised to make sure he ordered all the accessories for the computer at the same time.  Again, spending time researching all that Sarah would need, he added in all but one thing.  Would Sarah want a new monitor?

Her monitor at present was satisfactory for what she would use the fruit-themed laptop for, but the coordinator knew better.  This laptop wasn’t satisfying a huge business need.  No, it was satisfying an ego need, which Sarah was the latest victim of, having seen many of her peers succumb.   Because of that, he believed soon after the laptop arrived, she would want the same monitor that the other executives had.  The coordinator went to the fruit-themed vendor’s website, surfed for monitors, and found the one monitor they sold.  It was:


It was:


Bringing this to Sarah, the coordinator advised Sarah of her choices and the respective prices.  Sarah’s decision?  The $999 monitor, which the department would pay for.  Despite that the CFO, one of Sarah’s peers, told everyone in the department that it was everyone’s duty to avoid unnecessary expenditures, Sarah authorized the monitor for her…for $999.  It would take more incense, more rituals, and more paperwork to push it through.  Every time the coordinator would be asked why did someone need such a ridiculously expensive monitor, he would simply say that it was what Sarah wanted.  Having dealt with enough executives of the company and their expensive toys, the ordering department put the request through.

Helping the company be fiscally responsible could wait for another day.  Sarah needed her monitor that could be viewed by the International Space Station.  The coordinator sat back, resumed work on his standard laptop, viewing his standard screen, and got on with his day.

The Double Take Comment

Jon Stewart doing double take

The new Director’s staff filed into the conference room and dutifully sat down.  These meetings were common in the Director’s four month tenure at the company.  A bit too common, actually, and the staff was getting tired of meeting.

Among the attendees where Phil and Don.  Earlier in the Director’s brief tenure, they had both applied for the opening of Manager, reporting to the Director.  Both brought skills, talent, and tenure to the position.  The Director thought differently, though and decided not to choose either of them for the position.  Instead, he brought someone in from the outside, who did not know the company’s culture or ways of doing things.  Both Phil and Don were understandably disappointed, but soldiered on with their duties.

This particular meeting was one to discuss some of the statistics that the Director had unearthed in his research on the company.  One rather disturbing statistic was that the company did a miserable job of hiring from within.  Around 70% of the new managerial hires were hired from outside the company, the Director reported.

While that would have been ironic, what he said after that would cause whiplash.  “That is a terrible statistic, and this company needs to do better for hiring from within.  How is anyone supposed to feel engaged or that they are part of the company when there is no career path.”, the Director stated.

There needed to be no words to describe the look that Phil and Don gave to each other.  They continued to listen at the meeting, having learned a valuable lesson about the type of person this new Director was, one which they would remember for a very long time.

You’re new to a company.  You’re in a position of some prominence.  Your new folks don’t know you from a hole in the ground.  It’s probably a good idea to start earning a good reputation right away.  A reputation that says you are honest, straightforward, mean what you say, and have your employees’ best interest at heart.  You have nothing in your reputation’s bank account on which to draw, so you better make some deposits quickly.

Doing one thing while saying another probably isn’t the best way to go.  Unless, however, you don’t care about how you are judged.  If that is the case, be ready for a team that will be judging every word you say and action you take, and not giving you the benefit of the doubt at any time.

You also might see an increase in medical premiums…from all the double-takes they will be doing.

The Self-Answering Question

Appeal to Lord to keep his hand over my mouth

It had been a pretty much one-sided conversation on the ride back to the office from the job site.  The talking had been done mostly by the senior partner in the firm, with the listening by the one of his employees.  The employee knew better than to really engage the senior partner in any conversation, as the senior partner enjoyed hearing the sound of his own voice.  The employee was happy enough, for if he were to say anything, he might not have a job after that day.

The senior partner was going on about the recent rash of people leaving the firm.  The most recent departure was someone pretty high up in the organization, leaving a hole they would have to fill and quickly.  It was odd.  When there was a hole in the employee’s level, there wasn’t an urgency to fill that vacancy, and the work was distributed to others as a ‘cost savings measure’.

The senior partner continued.  “Why didn’t he just come in to speak with me about what was wrong.  Nobody seems to do that.  If they would just do that, we could work things out with them and we wouldn’t be facing this.”

The employee just nodded and continued to stare straight ahead, keeping his mouth shut.  He didn’t mention that this was the same firm where, if an employee asked for a raise, the senior partners would drag out every mistake they had ever done since the employee first walked in the door as justification to reject the raise.  This was the same firm where there were not automatic raises, even though their billing out rates continued to rise.  This was the same firm, which, as mentioned, would not replace workers when they left because, ‘well, we aren’t making enough money to do so’.

Unaware of this inner dialogue, the senior partner continued on what he considered a happier note.  They had won the contract for a few other projects, which the employee would be the main contact.  Looking at the employee, the senior partner said to him, “Let’s hope you don’t screw this one up like you did the last one”.

The ride continued in silence.

Managers and leaders are mirrors for their organization.  What attitudes, ideas, and opinions they generate are reflected back to them in the attitudes, ideas, and opinions of their employees.  If they generate fairness, insight, and professionalism, they will have this reflected back at them.  If they generate the opposite, that, too, will be reflected back to them.  It is the clueless manager who generates one set of values and expects a different one to be reflected in their organization.

If you are wondering why employees in your organization act a certain way, look to yourself first to see if this behavior is the one you are sending out to the staff.  If it is, and if you truly want your organization to work differently, then begin with the most difficult change of all — your attitude.  Turn that mirror on yourself and take a good, hard look at yourself.  You may be surprised at what you see.

The Rules Don’t Apply to Us!

Bird Breaking Rules

Sam and Ralph were enjoying this lunch conversation. They had not seen each other in some time, so there was quite a bit of catching up to do.  Many topics were covered, including some of the latest happenings in the company.

One of those was the recent employee all hands meeting, which is talked about in this blog.  While they both agreed that the questions were avoided with amazing dexterity, Sam took the conversation in a different direction.  Sam mentioned that he was disappointed that his question did not get answered.

What question was that?  A very intriguing one.  “Company policy states that employees cannot get more than one promotion in a year.  Yet, there are several people in {Sam’s Department} that have received multiple promotions in one year.  Why hasn’t HR stopped this?”  He knew Ralph couldn’t answer that one, because of two reasons:

  • Ralph worked in HR
  • The same thing happened in HR

Yes, in the bastion of the rule makers, HR, the rule about promotions had been broken a few times, most recently with a manager who received two promotions within six months.  This particular manager had also scored the largest of the offices.  It paid to be liked by the head of the department.

This had been on Ralph’s mind even before his conversation with Sam.  The head of the department was always going on about how she wanted the department to be taken seriously and as a true partner by the business.  Yet, she failed to see that acts like this diminished her credibility among her peers and the employees in her department and in the company.  This person, who should be thinking strategically, instead always thought parochially…what was best for her, without giving thought or care to the consequences of her acts.

This behavior also had an impact on the other departments.  If HR didn’t have to follow the rules, why should they?  They are only following HR’s example, and if called on it, they would not hesitate to call out HR for being hypocritical about what they say and what they do.  It had become a company where no one followed the rules, but only the dictates of their own ambition.  What a great place to work, huh?

Leadership is more than just reporting authority. That gets you only so far.  It also has to be about moral authority.  You show you care about the rules you lay down by following them.  This gives you a stronger argument to others to say they should follow them.  If you go about flaunting the rules at every turn, why should anyone else follow them?  And, if you won’t have the power of the organization chart behind you to enforce those rules, don’t expect people to care who you are or what you say.  All they see is the hypocrite, and hypocrites don’t get much respect at all.


Good Advice…for Everyone Else


There was a hard and fast rule in Sarah’s mind for any event that her group hosted.  If there were prizes raffled off, her staff could not enter the drawings.  It was a reasonable demand from her, the staff admitted.  What happened if a member of Sarah’s staff won one of the really good prizes?  Even if an auditing agency had presided over the drawing and signed affidvits testifying to the validity of the drawing, someone might believe that there was something crooked in the drawing and the department’s reputation could be damaged.  So, even though some of the prizes were quite good, the staff members never entered any contest in which they were involved.

Then the naming contest came about.  It seems that a room dedicated to the use of one of Sarah’s departments was built, alleviating the need for that department to beg, borrow, or steal a room from another group, or hope that a public room was available.  As the room was being finished, it was decided that a contest would be held to name the room.   Like the other contests, staff members of the company could enter their suggestion and an impartial panel would choose the best answer, giving the room a name.  The contest was announced, a special mailbox was set up to gather the entries, and staff was invited to send in their entries.

Looking through the entries, one name stood out.  Sarah had put in an entry.  A delicate inquiry was made to her regarding if this could be seen as suspect by the staff for the same reasons she gave for staff not being able to enter any of the department’s other contests.  Sarah answered that this case was totally different and there was no conflict of interest in her entering it.  If her suggestion happened to win, well, then so be it.  Nobody could think any worse of the department because of it.  Why?  Because, Sarah said so.

Guess who won?  Now, to be fair in reporting, the committee that chose the winner had only one departmental representative on it, so there wasn’t an undue influence by Sarah on the choice.  However, that wasn’t the point.  Sarah made sure that a plaque announcing the winner was placed in the room, so her name would now live in perpetuity, or at least as long as the room lasted.  It served another purpose, too.  The plaque served as a reminder that, if it benefited Sarah, the rules for everyone else didn’t have to apply to her.  They had seen it many times before,  and, thanks to the plaque, would be reminded of it many times in the future.

There is hardly a more important rubric when leading or managing people than to make sure that the rules you create for them apply to you as well.  When you begin to apply the rules only to some and exclude yourself, you set yourself apart.  When you serve up excuses why ‘this time’ is different so you can enjoy some benefit, you set yourself apart.  When the only time the rules are bent is when you want them to be, you set yourself apart.   By setting yourself apart, you negate any feeling that there is a team effort in the department.  The only team are the horses up front pulling your carriage while you wave to the crowds.

The team won’t consider you one of the horses, though they will think of as another part of the horse.  I guarantee you wouldn’t want that put on a plaque.

A Little Throwing Around Money

Man Throwing Money Around

It looks like Maxine and Sarah may have some competition.

Fred was enjoying this. The second party in his honor in as many days was being held, and he was enjoying it.  After all, hadn’t he been at the company for 20 years, only deciding to move on because he found a better position for himself?  Twenty years should mean something, even if it was a tiny bit on the extravagant side.

While it was true that Fred was at the company for 20 years in a high ranking position, it was also known that he wasn’t exactly a ball of fire.  Always there with a smile and a story, he had been at the company long enough to know just how much work he had to do in order to keep his high paying job and nothing more.  He was a master at it.

That’s why it was a surprise when he announced that he was taking another leadership position with another company and would be leaving his present job.  Most thought he would be at the company for life.  Still, he made the announcement and soon enough the goodbye party was being arranged by his administrative assistant.

This would not be a cake in the cafeteria, however.  Oh no, not for Fred.  He deserved better than that, and if you doubted it, just ask him.  A party was planned for him in the company’s largest meeting room.  Tables were set up, tablecloths rented, party favors purchased, and the catering company duly told that money was no object.  It is told that even cookies with his likeness were baked and distributed to all who attended.  Anyone else could do with cake and punch.  For Fred, the corporate wallet was opened and the credit card grew hot with all the spending that went into this little shindig.

If that were the end of the story, it would have made an interesting sidelight, but that is about it.  No, what made this worthy for inclusion into this blog was what happened the day after the party.  What happened, you ask?  Another party for Fred, and if the corporate credit card grew hot with the first party, it was positively molten when finished with the second one.

This second party was held at a private restaurant, and included a four course meal for all who were invited.  Along with the meal, there were videos of Fred, games, tributes, and even a mock roast.  How could they fit this all in?  Easy, the ‘meal’ went on for four hours.  People were leaving even before the dessert course because they simply had to get back to work to attend meetings, get projects accomplished, or simply have work be done.  None of this seemed to phase Fred, who was enjoying all the tributes, though he was reportedly not happy with the mild jabs being given to him at the roast.

This blog is not condemning that some people in a business unit. or even in the whole business, had some fun.  It is an essential part of the work environment to blow off some steam, have a few laughs, and release the tension that will inevitably build up.  Have some fun!

Why then write about it?  In the past few years, the company has been given marching orders to save money and to bring in new sources of revenue.  Within Fred’s own department, one of his direct reports constantly refers to the ROI of their work.  There is the incessant drumbeat of getting new customers, getting the existing customers to buy more, and to continue to grow sales.  People are working longer, harder, and signs of burnout and discontent are growing.

In the middle of this pressure to save and gain as much money as possible, what is done?  Not one but two parties are held for someone who didn’t exactly typify the new work ethic in the company.  These parties each cost thousands of dollars each to stage.  Countless hours of productivity time were lost with the filming of the videos, writing the speeches, singing the songs.  Thousands more were spent on cute signs that people will throw out and custom cookies that won’t last a week.  All because smiling Fred took a new job.  Worse yet, nobody seemed to care what kind of message this sent to the staff.  That was also typical of the new vision and leadership of the company.

In more ways than one, their behavior took the (retirement) cake.